Weirdest-audition-ever-backroom-casting-couch

“Welcome to the weirdest audition of your life,” said the avocado. His voice was surprisingly deep. “I’m Gerald. I handle ‘vibes.’ Please, have a seat on the couch.”

So I did it. I sat on the farting couch. I performed the Seven Stages of Existential Dread, culminating in a whispered monologue to the hamster about my fear of being forgotten. The hamster ran on its wheel. The nun cried. Gerald the Avocado gave me a standing ovation. weirdest-audition-ever-backroom-casting-couch

“I’m not angry, I’m— wait, why is there a spreadsheet?” “Welcome to the weirdest audition of your life,”