Tucker And Dale < 500+ Ultimate >

“So… no torture dungeon?”

Tucker had finally gotten the ancient machine to start. It roared to life, belching black smoke and a single, forgotten squirrel that shot out like a fuzzy cannonball. The squirrel, understandably enraged, latched onto Chad’s hair.

Allison, who had been watching the entire day with growing suspicion, took off her glasses. “Wait. You pulled me out of the river. You offered me a Band-Aid and a Sprite.” tucker and dale

And as the stars came out over the crooked little cabin, Tucker raised his beer. “See, Dale? Told you. Start of something good.”

What followed was a chain reaction of catastrophic misunderstanding. “So… no torture dungeon

Chad, screaming, ran backward—straight into a pile of old two-by-fours. A board flipped up, smacked him in the face, and he tumbled headfirst into a discarded fishing net, which then got caught on a hook, which then swung him into a tree. From a distance, it looked exactly like Tucker had launched a college kid out of the wood chipper.

“I think he’s hurt,” Dale said, already waddling toward the kid. “Hey there! Don’t you worry, we’re here to help!” Allison, who had been watching the entire day

An hour later, they had a bonfire. The rest of the college kids, untangled and de-mucked, sat sheepishly around the flames. Chad, sporting a bruise shaped exactly like a two-by-four, shook Tucker’s hand.

Then came the wood chipper incident.