Hindidk

“ …bahut kuch hai. ” (There is a lot.)

She didn’t understand. She understood nothing.

And then the comments came.

“ Bua-ji, ” she said, slowly, carefully, owning every mistake before it could own her. “ Meri Hindi perfect nahi hai. Mujhe lagta hai kabhi kabhi ki main kuch bhi nahi jaanti. Lekin main seekh rahi hoon. Aur aaj, itna kaafi hai. ”

The bearded man leaned forward. “ Achha. To bataaiye — aapko kya lagta hai ki Bharat ki bhashaai vividhta media mein kitna pratibimbit hoti hai? ” (So tell me — how much do you think India’s linguistic diversity is reflected in the media?) hindidk

“Bhai same. Mera Hindi itna bekar hai ki mujhe English mein likhna padta hai ki mera Hindi bekar hai.”

Riya wanted to sink into the floor. She thought of Kabir’s word: hindidk . She thought of her grandmother’s voice. She thought of every time she had smiled and nodded and felt like a fraud. “ …bahut kuch hai

Bua-ji spotted her. “ Beta! Aao. Tumhari Hindi ab kaisi hai? ”

Riya sat down. She didn’t understand every word of the conversation that followed. But she didn’t need to. She had stopped trying to be fluent. She had started trying to be present. And then the comments came