1x15 | Familia Moderna

Alex looked up. "Statistically, vampires aren't sexy. They're corpses with anemia."

Phil, covered in fake snow from the star projector, grinned. "Exactly! In twenty years, we'll laugh about this. We'll say, 'Remember the Valentine's Day I almost suffocated you?' That's love, Claire. Suffocation and laughter."

Gloria, resplendent in a red dress that seemed to defy physics, was trying to coax Manny out of his room. "Manny, mi amor , it is Valentine's Day. You cannot break a woman's heart by not showing up."

Finally, Mitchell and Cameron gave up on the bistro. They took their escargots to go and sat in the back of the car in the parking lot. Lily finally fell asleep, clutching Mitchell's finger. Familia Moderna 1x15

Haley rolled her eyes. "This is why you'll die alone, Alex."

"Next year," Claire said, "let's just go to a movie."

"Fruit doesn't scream, Cam."

"Phil," she wheezed. "This is our worst Valentine's Day ever."

Manny looked at her with newfound respect. "You understand pain."

Gloria kissed Jay's cheek, leaving a lipstick mark. "You see? He's an artist. We will take him. The waitress at the steakhouse has a mustache. Very romantic." Alex looked up

"You know," she said, refilling his water. "My first boyfriend gave me a potato. Baked. He said it was 'the heart of the earth.' I cried for a week. But now? I'm a waitress. And he works at a potato factory. So really, I won."

And then there was Mitchell and Cameron. They had planned the perfect, sophisticated evening: a reservation at a tiny, exclusive French bistro, followed by a classical guitar concert.

The problem? Lily was teething. And screaming. A sound like a tiny, furious police siren. "Exactly

It was a terrible Valentine's Day. Which, for the Pritchetts, the Dunphys, and the Tucker-Pritchetts, meant it was absolutely perfect.