1 — Daphne And Irina. Show

It’s a Gala, Irina. Not an apple. Galas have symmetry. Red is at 2 o’clock. Green is at 8. This is basic fruit cartography.

(without looking up) If you rotate that apple one more time, I’m going to film it and put it on the internet. Title: Woman Declares War on Produce.

And you’re a control artist who just got evicted from her own fruit bowl. (She steals the apple and takes a loud bite) Camera two, close up on anarchy. Daphne And Irina. Show 1

No, you don’t. You love it. Because for once, you’re not the one writing the script.

(smiles tightly) No, darling. Something I’m exhausted by. There’s a difference. Control is a rental agreement with anxiety. You think you’re the landlord. You’re not. You’re the tenant who’s afraid of the boiler. It’s a Gala, Irina

(placing the last grape with tweezers) Today’s theme is control.

(puts phone down) Whoa. That was almost profound. Say it again so I can pretend I thought of it first. Red is at 2 o’clock

Finally. Something you’re bad at.

Welcome to Daphne and Irina . Show one. We have no plan. We have no producer. And we are definitely not okay.