Year Old Feet: 8

Let’s talk about 8-year-old feet.

Just... please put your shoes in the hallway, not directly in front of the washing machine. A parent can dream.

If you have ever lived with an 8-year-old, you know that they are a walking paradox. One minute they are reciting facts about black holes with the seriousness of a NASA engineer, and the next, they are trying to see how far they can slide across the kitchen floor in their socks. 8 year old feet

Despite the chaos, I am in awe of the engineering of an 8-year-old foot.

You go to the shoe store. The nice salesperson measures the foot. "They’ve gone up a size and a half," she says cheerfully. A size and a half in six weeks. This is the growth rate of a bamboo plant or a Marvel superhero. Let’s talk about 8-year-old feet

If you are the parent of an 8-year-old, you have a drawer filled with odd socks. You have a bag in the laundry room labeled "Lonely Socks." You have purchased 50-packs of identical white ankle socks, only to have 47 of them vanish into a wormhole that exists exclusively inside your child’s sneakers.

So, to the 8-year-old feet currently kicking the back of my car seat: A parent can dream

I’ll keep buying the wipes for the bottom of the tub, and I’ll keep searching for the matching socks.

You buy a pair of sturdy sneakers in August for back-to-school. They fit perfectly. There is a thumb’s width of room. You feel smug about your budgeting. By October, your child is walking like a penguin because their toes are curled under. "They feel fine," they insist, while clearly suffering.

You drive me crazy. You cost me a fortune in socks and shoe leather. You smell like a locker room.